Throughout the thousands of years, there has been one eliment which has been crucial to maintaining the laws of Torah. Many believe that this act is to be credited to the righteous Sages of our generations, However, that is not the truth. We, as Jews, have always been united and maintained by someone else. By someone hidden away behind the public view, by the less obvious. That someone is "The Jewish Woman."

It was the woman who accepted the Torah first at Mount Sinai, and, it was the womans heroic efforts in Egypt that ignited our deliverance. And once again, it will be the woman's song and dance that will lead us into the swing of Moshiach.

One crucial mitzvah, which can only be observed by the woman, is her state of nidah, her state of "separation" and her immersion within the waters of the mikvah, the "ritual pool of water."

But to understand the importance of these acts, one must come to the understanding of what it means to by united to one's husband in perfect union.

I was fortunate to find a beautiful example of the importance of the observance of this mitzvah, within a wonderful book called "The secret of Jewish Femininity". The story is as follows:

A Russian woman, sitting in a mikvah in Israel was crying...
"You ask me why I am crying?" exclaimed the newly arrived immigrant. She wipes a tear from her eye as she relates her experiences to the mikvah attendant.

"It is less than a month since I left Russia. This is the first time that I am going to the mikvah without worrying who is looking over my shoulder.
There are hundreds of women in Russia who keep Taharat HaMishpachah (family purity). It is extremely difficult, especially if you have young children and you work outside of your home. My sixteen years of married life were a story of hiding, secrecy, and fear. Going to a mikvah was always a logistical nightmare. Where to go? How to get there? How to avoid suspicion? How to meet the travel expenses?

You can't imagine the commitment marriage demands from an observant Jew in Russia. While most brides were concerned with wedding preparations, I was preoccupied with constructing a plan of action to make observing Taharat HaMishpacha feasible. My home town did not have a mikvah, the nearest one was in Chernowitz, eighty kilometers away."

Shortly after the birth of her first daughter, the mikvah and the adjoining shul in Chernowitz were closed down. Desperate inquiries led to the discovery of an "officially permitted" mikvah in Lemberg, 115 kilometers away. She would go to work in the morning as usual, then travel to Lemberg by bus or train in the afternoon. "I had to make th return trip late the same night in order to report to work the next morning on time. Otherwise, people would begin asking questions.

These were considered 'ideal conditions.' The real difficulties started when the Lemberg mikvah was also shut down. We turned back to Chernowitz where a group of dedicated Jews tried to re-open an old mikvah dating back to pre-war times. This mikvah was located in the basement of a private home. It's owner, a Jewish woman, was reluctant to endanger herself and others by allowing access to the much sought after pool in her basement. Many hours of imploring and pleading and, of course, the promise of a handsome fee finally persuaded her to agree.

The next step was to repair the old mikvah and prepare it for use. All the construction had to be carried out in maximum secrecy and silence. We could not risk talkative neighbors. The woman would not allow us to build an entrance from her home. The only way to get in was by crawling through a hole in the basement wall.

Despite the generous sum of money the house owner received, she would not allow the use of the mikvah on Sundays and public holidays. On these days, she ran an active 'black market' in her home, and she did not want visitors to inquire about the strange figures emerging from the cellar.

Still, we insisted on using the mikvah on those days, promising to stay out of sight of her customers. I remember many an anxious hour, waiting patiently by the exit, praying that the last buyer would leave in time for me to make the last train home.

Years passed, and another old basement mikvah became available in the center of town. At first, the water was heated by a boiler, but tenants complained about the unexplainable rise in the electric bill. For fear of discovery, the electric wiring to the mikvah was disconnected. "I don't have to tell you how cold water can get in the freezing Russian winter. We were forced to heat up water on gas stoves upstairs and carry it down to the basement, tens of buckets each time."

When this was no longer feasible, she tried a different alternative, a 450 kilometer trip across the Carpathian mountains to the city of Ungrod. Sometimes she was lucky enough to make the trip by plane. Usually, she would fly one way and take a bus home. "I still shudder at the thought of those terrifying late night bus rides among the primitive Russian peasants."

"When we could afford a vacation to the big cities, Moscow, Leningrad, or Kiev, I had the opportunity to use the local mikvah. It was sad to behold the small number of women who took advantage of the mikvah. Many were afraid to come lest they be questioned, even the attendants could have been informers.

"Thank God, that's all past history. Here in Eretz Yisrael, I can fulfill the vital mitzvah of Taharat HaMishpacha in comfort and ease.

Do you still wonder why I am crying?"

As you can see, Taharat HaMishpacha is a mitzvah which goes deep within a Jewish woman. It is the core of the entire Jewish family.

Before one marries, one must be aware that the preparations for the wedding and the engagement, is really not so important. It has become common practice to place much effort into the preparations of a wedding, and total disregard for that which comes after the wedding day. Maybe this is the reason for so much instability within the secular marriage. It almost seems as the common understanding is...
"I don't know anything about preparing a wedding or how to act, what to do, what to say, etc. But I know everything about married life."

Well I have news for you. The easy part is signing the document (ketuba - marriage contract), slipping on the ring and then dancing. It's what comes afterwards that’s difficult.

This is a big order.

Man and woman. Or in Hebrew
(Woman)    (Man)
reveals to us the inner meaning of matrimony. When both are alone, they have something in common
(fire).
But when we unite them, they both offer something very unique to the union. Look at the two words above, man has a (yud) and woman has a (hey).
This spells the Divine Name of Hashem. So we can see, that when man and woman unite, they bring with them the Holy Name, but when they are separate, they are only "Fire."

In this section, we will try and familiarize you with the ways of Taharat HaMishpacha. The exact laws are very complicated and a qualified Rabbi must always be involved. The exact halachic ruling cannot be derived from these pages alone. But, Bz'H, it will be enough to start you on your way.